Monday, February 9, 2015


I just gotta tell my story....

Often times we are suffocating due to an experience in our life. 

 I have heard many stories that have touched my heart.  It is one thing to go through something that was in your control but to have gone through a traumatic event were you were helpless, is something no one should ever experience.  I know an experience for me was losing my baby because it was ectopic.  I would never want anyone to go through what I did.  But God never makes a mistake and regardless of what we go through, He is right there by our side and most importantly, He STILL loves us! 

You're drowning, can't breathe, feels like you're surrounded by water 
Until you wake up with puffy eyes, only to realize your pillow soaked from the tears you cried 
Trying to understand the events of the past 
Not really letting go of the things that didn't last 
It's been twenty years, why does it still hurt me so? 
God said give it to me and just let it go 
I thought I forgave and put it all behind me but the people that did it are still defining me 
I am suffocated by the mistakes of others, done unto me 
This isn't fair Lord, I was only 3 
Was there something I could have done back then that would've allowed the 24 years old me to be set free? 
I don't want to suffocate anymore
I want my peace, sleep, and sanity back 
God please just take this heavy load off me
Allow me to grow up, mentally.
This is the hardest thing I've ever written  
But these words are like doves being released 
I'm free. No more pain.  Or suffocating 

Through words, many people feel a sense of relief and release.  I have gone through so much and am still in the midst of my process but through it all I have learned to remain patient.  "Trouble doesn't last always."  If I can just continue to p.u.s.h through this suffocating time in my life, I will soon be able to breathe again.  
Always remember that you are stronger than you think.  Strength is gained only after you're body has been pushed to its limit.  You're not alone; everyone has a story.  Being able to write or speak about it is liberating.  Let the paper be your therapist and just write.  

Just Breathe.